My definite chief aim – passion and purpose

One advantage of having to do a post every day, is having to think of things to share and this is giving me the opportunity to take a long hard look at what I've been doing for the last year of my life.  I left work with a clear objective to start a business and to hit the private sector like a whirlwind, however, whilst that was my outward motivation, inwardly I think I had simply had enough! I’d  spent the last 25 years working exceedingly hard in a full time, high pressured role (the majority of people who work in the public sector do just that, despite what the media says – and we all now know we can’t trust them anyway) whilst being a full time mum too.  I’d had enough of the rat race, enough of the pressure, enough of the constant doing, of the constant demands on my time.  I don't like to admit it but I think I was that burn out. 

So rather than adopt my usual modus operandi of setting clear goals and having a clear passion and purpose (something I advocate to the women I coach: LOL– physician cure thyself!), every time I sat down to write out my goals, I sort of fudged it and made them very wishy-washy.  I think this was because I knew that if I set myself clear objectives my “get- things -done” nature would take over and I would head like a homing missile towards them with the singular determination that I am noted, or should I say renowned, for. 

The problem was that I wanted time out, yet I was afraid to take time out because I thought I should be getting on with it- after all I was going to be FIVE O, time was no longer on my side!  

So I did what is common when you don't want to face something – I put my head in the sand and ignore the obvious signs that I was not making any progress.  I wanted a rest and meandering is the coward's way of resting.  Perhaps coward is too strong a word, but you get my drift.

My strategy of setting half-hearted goals clearly wasn't working on two fronts. I was doing everything but resting – no goals means that you rush around like a headless chicken doing everything and nothing specific and at the back of my mind was the constant niggling thought that I was no longer living on purpose and I should be getting on with what I'm here to do in a more constructive and direct way. 

“Midlife crisis” I hear you screaming at the computer screen, but you know what they say about not seeing the wood for the trees. There was one almighty Redwood in front of me blocking my view of everything else. If anyone had told me before this year that I would hit a midlife crisis just because I was turning 50 I would have said "no not me, age is just a number" but here I am midlife crisis and all.

Luckily I think I've turned the corner now, perhaps it is because in less than 47 days I will be 50 and the closer this milestone gets the less significant it seems to become.

The happy ending... (or more precisely happy beginning), last night I sat down and I wrote out my definite chief aim, or  as I prefer to call it my passion purpose.  Guess what? It has had just the effect I knew it would! Clarity, direction and motivation.

I think I will save telling you what my passion purposes until tomorrow.

Have you suddenly found yourself daunted by the approach of a milestone age? What’s your experience I’d love to read about it. 

image Building Future by jscreationzs