Fearlessly loving all there is

Yesterday I attended the interfaith seminary ordination for the 40 graduates of the class of 2011.  Five years ago I was in the same position graduating after two years of introspection, soul searching and learning how to become an interfaith Minister and spiritual counsellor.  I remember just how deeply connected I felt on that day and the exquisite moment of ecstasy I experienced, which was quickly followed by real-life.

As part of the process of being ordained, I had to make a vow.  I promised to open up in surrender to the divine presence within my heart, to offer openly and honestly deep peace and love, to speak the truth of my heart and except in love all. 

I went on to say that the work of my heart was God's work and I promised to do God’s work and the work of my heart is your work and I promised to do your work.  However, on reflection, I think I should have said the work of my heart is my work and I promise to do my work. 

There is still so much of my heart that I need to explore.  It's easy to become trapped by fear and lock your heart in a prison of numbness so that you feel nothing either good or bad.  It's a coping strategy.  The other day I was watching Supernatural.  For those of you who don't know, Supernatural is a TV series about two brothers who go around fighting demons.  The older brother was always the fearless one, however, since the younger brother, Sam, was reincarnated after dying and going to hell (don't ask) he has become completely fearless. In the last episode is said “I feel fearless and invincible because I don't feel anything more.  Nothing bothers me”

I really understand what he meant.  Locking up your heart means that nothing can get to you and because nothing can affect you, it makes you feel invincible. However it's a very limited experience.  I truly get how hard it is to let go and trust, but you can't be truly yourself unless you do just that.  Why is it important to be truly yourself?  If you're not truly yourself what kind of life are you living? Or more to the point whose life are you living?

Now clearly there are benefits to being fearless.  The go get it, try anything, risk-taking attitude is a key ingredient in becoming a successful entrepreneur or tycoon woman.  However, like everything in life, balance is the key.

So how do you show up fearless and still remain connected to your true self?  That is the million-dollar question.  Well I guess it has something to do with simply being in the moment.  What is fear but the fear of the unknown and a reluctance to accept that you actually do not have any control over what happens next?  I can no more predict the next moment with 100% certainty than I can breathe in a vacuum.  By accepting the here and now as all there is, it is possible to get to a place of true self acceptance because you recognise that in letting go of the idea that you can control anything, you are letting go of fear itself.  Once you can really accept yourself, the journey begins.

Do you find it hard to show up fearless and still be heart connected? or Maybe you think it is not possible to do both ... I'd love to know your views.