Becoming A Tycoon Woman: How To Get Things Done - Part 2

In Part 1 last week we looked at how following your inner wisdom and going with what works for you can help you to get things done, especially when you have so much to do that it starts to feel overwhelming. In this second part, I've included a few more pointers for remaining sane but also identifying how to preserve your energy for what is most important, how to be loving and giving without sacrificing or harming yourself as well as how to balance what you think you know with what the rest of the world is telling you.  

#5 Be real about your problems and ask for help.

If you want to get more done ask for help as soon as you recognise that you need it rather than waste time going round and round in problem loops.

I often hear it said that you should fake it until you make it! The logic goes that if you look successful and sound successful then you will attract business. Of course in a sense this is true - In business confidence is a valuable commodity. As is displaying all the trappings of success both inside and outside your business: a busy order book, clients falling over themselves to book you, more cash coming in than is going out, the expensive car, nice home, exotic holidays etc..

But what happens if you are struggling to fill your order book and your business feels like it is located in one of those deserted ghost towns you see in Cowboy films with nothing but tumble weed rolling on by? Do you keep up appearances hoping that things will get better or do you ask for help?

Asking for help is not a sign of failure. Indeed it is a prerequisite to success. Even the most successful business did not get there alone and recognising that there are no self made people ( we all have parents) or self made millionaires has to be one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Ironically there seems to be an inverse relationship between how much you need the help and how easy it feels to ask for it – in other words the more you need help the harder it is to ask.

The first step is to admit to yourself that you actually could do with some help. The second is to acknowledge any fears or misgivings you have about asking for help as being valuable, however, accepting that they NOT the only consideration. Perhaps asking for help may make you initially vulnerable and there is no getting away from a real sense that in business if you look like you are the weakest member of the herd you will be picked off by a passing predator.

However, what if the people you share your concerns with have the one bit of information that is the solution to your problems. Is it worth missing simply because you are afraid to ask? If you are having problems and are genuinely stuck then the one thing you know is that unless you do something different the problem will persist. I found it to be far better to be real about what is going on in your business and ask for help than to pretend that everything is ok. Remember there are always many more people who are willing to help than who aren’t or who choose to take advantage of your vulnerability.

# 6 Recognise the Emotional & Energy Vampires and limit their access to you.

I’m a firm believer in the more you give the more that will come back to you. I see giving and receiving as two sides of the same coin. It is not possible for one to thrive without the other - it would be like breathing in without needing to breathe out. Someone once said give as much as you can and then give more! This is a fantastic attitude to go into business with, one which will net very positive results. If you search the internet now for key influential people in any niche you will see that they give oodles of information away for free (e.g.Anthony Robbins, Fabienne Fredrickson, Joanna Martin, Mark Ling).

However, like everything it is important to establish the right balance so that your generosity doesn’t result in you scarifying yourself or being bled dry by what have been termed Emotional/Energy Vampires. An emotional or energy vampire is someone who drains you emotionally and energetically by always needing something from you. They are takers that have somehow missed out on understanding that there are two sides to the giving and receiving equation. Their needs stem for a deep sense of lack of self worth and whilst it is preferable that your reaction to them is caring and understanding rather than just labelling them, you also need to be able to recognise the signs and protect yourself from their worst excesses so that you don’t become drained.

Some traits of Emotional/Energy Vampires

• They ask the same question repeatedly, like a five year old child, each time expecting a different answer
• They pick your brains for ideas, use them and never give you credit
• Their helpful feedback always feels like a slap in the face
• They have an emotional trump card that they use on you e.g. "it's because I love you"?
• They always correct your minor faults?

Signs That You've Encountered and Emotional Vampire

•  You find it hard to keep your eyes open whilst listening to them
• Your feel your previously good mood heading south for the winter and it’s still spring!
•  You start to imagine eating a whole tub of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food in one sitting by YOURSELF
•  You feel anxious, depressed or negative
• You feel that metaphoric “Ouch” that follows a put down

Emotional or Energy Vampires need a firm hand. Set limits on the amount of time you spend with people that fit this profile and generate these types of responses in you. During encounters, be kind but firm, trust your inner wisdom and avoid getting caught up in their story.

There are some very helpful books on how to recognise and deal with Emotional and Energy Vampires, examples are: Judith Orloff MD  Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life ( 2011) Taking the Bite out of Vampires, Albert J. Bernstein (2000).

Clearly if you are not being drained of your own energy and vitality you will be able to get more done. To increase your energy level (and improve your relationships) it’s worth taking an inventory of people who give you energy and those that drain you. Aim to spend more time with the loving, nurturing people, and develop a set of strategies to set limits on the time spent with those who drain you.

# 7 Give feedback the right place in your cosmic order of understanding.

My favourite mantra is there is no failure only feedback. However, it is important to recognise that feedback is only information, if it feels like judgment it is because of the meaning you are giving it. In addition you and no one other than you are in control of whether you use the information to alter your behaviour, plans and actions or not. Being open to learning is not the same as bending with every wind of an ideas or opinion that blows your way. The world is full of people willing to offer advice and information about what is right – it is your job to determine what is right for you.

One of the main reasons for being overwhelmed with things to do is trying to do everything that is suggested. There will always be one more thing that will give you the business edge. If you are constantly shifting from one thing to the next or worst still continually add every new idea to your inventory you will always feel like there is never enough time to get everything done. Use Discernment and Discretion to plot your Direction and keep you on tract to achieving your goals. The most powerful question to ask when reviewing feedback is: “How does this serve me?”

# 8 Know when the Market is boss

One of the best ways to get more done is to be clear about what you are doing and why. In business one of the best ways to ensure that you don’t spend a lot of fruitless time being clear about something that few if anyone wants to buy is to know when the market is boss. It’s always easier to match a good or service to a market, than it is to successfully find a market to match your idea for a good or service. In order to do this you need to understand your customers/clients from the inside out. The more you can do this the better you will be able to develop your businesses and reduce the time spent doing “stuff” by concentrating on what really matters.

If you treat your market research as something you completed prior to the launch of your business (and perhaps even this was limited to a few friends and family) you are likely to encounter problems and end up spending a lot of time on activities that keep you busy but have limited effect on your profitability. Get more done by making understanding your market and customers an ongoing process. Make it a priority and schedule time each week for your market research and aim to discover at least 3 new nuances’ about your customers PAIN (Problems Aspirations Issue Needs).

So that’s it for my 8 tips for getting more things done in the time available. Do you have any others? Your comments and thoughts are very welcome.

For more helpful articles and insights to help you become a successful entrepreneur and Tycoon woman checkout the Tycoon Women website and Tycoon Women Facebook page.


image:Freedom by graur razvan ionut