10 things you should know about how the world works!

Were you popular as a child?  Not me, I was different.  Back in the 60s there weren't that many small black girls from Nigeria.  I had a non-English name, ate different food, spoke with a different tonality, all of which probably made me seem odd.  I always felt like I had to make space for myself.  It was like pushing my way to the front, through a dense crowd of eager fans, each trying to get to the stage to see the object of their adoration.  Struggling to claw past each body, manoeuvring sideways through gaps and every so often having to retrace my steps as the way ahead suddenly became blocked by bodies.  

It felt like the rules of the world were against me.  Have you ever got the feeling that the rules of the world are against you?  It does beg the question, what are the rules of the world and who wrote them?

Having had almost 50 years to think about this, I've come up with what I think are the unwritten in the world.

Here are my 10 rules of the world:

1. Some people are never satisfied no matter what they have.  Therefore it follows that some people will never be satisfied with YOU, no matter what you do.  Consequently, it's not worth trying to satisfy anyone's expectations except your own.
2. People have sheep like tendencies; they are easily persuaded to do something so long as everyone else is doing it.
3. People are difficult to persuade to do new things, because they have sheep like tendencies and will keep with the herd.  You have to get the herd to move in the new direction first, before you can persuade an individual within the herd to do something.  
4. Being “right” is never enough.  Being influential is more important.  You can be “wrong” and highly influential and people will agree with you.  You can be “right” and lack influence and no one will care!  Gaining influence is the key.
5. There are no "right" answers!  Just different answers.  Experts like to push the idea that they hold a monopoly of the right answers, when in fact, they just have what works for them in the particular circumstances they tested it.  A key strategy of experts is to use statistics to back up their "right" ness.  Statistics are designed to persuade you that thinking independently is folly.  Independent thinking has been the greatest driver of progress since time began.  Never be afraid to move away from the “herd”.  You can just as easily end up as a pioneer, as opposed to, the one picked off by the predator for leaving the “herd”.
6. There is a solution to every problem – but not an answer to every question, particularly the WHY question.  The difficulty is finding a solution that is good for all.  The majority of solutions are good for the few.
7. WHY questions are only worth seeking answers to, if the answers move you forward to the next decision point /choice.  If they take you round and round in circles, stop asking WHY and ask “What have I already learnt?” instead.
8. The concept of fairness is worthless without first accepting the concept of basic rights for all.  When you think something is unfair, it normally means that you didn't benefit.  Someone else benefited and it seemed fair to them!
9. Happy memories last longer than possessions.  Create happy memories for yourself and others.  Be mindful how people experience you.  If someone has a negative experience as a result of something you did or said, ask yourself if this was your intention.  If it was not, find a way to make amends, if not immediately, at some point in the future.
10. The universe will always bring back into balance that which is out of balance. Karma, divine justice, reaping what you sow; however you want to look at it, balance is always restored.  A swinging pendulum will eventually come to rest in the middle no matter how great the distances between the swings are to start with.  If you can truly embrace this concept and learn to trust that all shall be well, you would have discovered the secret to a happy peaceful life.

Do you have your own rules of the world?  Do you agree with mine? I would love to know what you think about my blog. 

image: Hand With Earth by Salvatore Vuono