A – F of gratitude with attitude

It takes confidence to be a CEO and accept full responsibility for the success or otherwise of your company; to lead and inspire; to make both difficult and easy decisions and to make them even when you don't have all the right information available to you. It also takes confidence to know when to take risks and when to cut out parts of the organisation that are no longer working for it. Running your life is no different; to be the CEO of You plc (personal life Corporation) requires unshakeable confidence in your abilities and the courage to take action.

So how do you cultivate the sort of confidence and courage required to run your life like a top CEO? Everything I've ever read about successful people, about personal development and my own life experience all leads to the same conclusion: it's about your mindset. What you tell yourself each day. Whether you choose to focus on the negative and allow that to turn up the volume of the voice in your head that is always putting you down. The one that looks for reasons to stop you taking action; that questions your every thought and measures you up against some invisible yardstick, that no matter how hard you try, you never quite reached the mark! Or you choose to look for the positive, celebrate every achievement and even though you may be scared, you listen to the voice in your head which is encouraging you and telling you that you can do it.

The other day I heard a particularly good speaker liken these voices to the Smeagol / Gollum character in the Lord of the Rings. (Smeagol was the scared, distrusting side of Gollum who was convinced that nothing good would be in it for him if he let go of what he had always clung to). We often think of the voices in our heads as separate from us, but the truth is that they are just us having an argument with ourselves. It's the least confident you, the one that would rather be the supervisor, making sure that things run smoothly and that you keep doing what you've always done; verses the CEO who is willing to explore new territory in the knowledge that growth and expansion come from thinking outside the box.

So how can you change your mindset to one that is more confident and positive? Something that has worked for me has been to focus on gratitude. Actively seeking out things in your life to appreciate and celebrate. Recently I've developed a system which makes it easier for me to remember to be grateful. I call it my A – F of gratitude with attitude. Here's how it works. At the beginning of each day I say: "Thank you for an AMAZING, BRILLIANT, CHARMING, DELICIOUS, EXCEPTIONAL, FABULOUS day". I say it out loud to the universe. Although it sounds like a prayer, you don't have to be religious or of any particular spiritual tradition to be thankful. Simply thank whoever or whatever you connect to; be it God, Allah, Jehovah, Jesus, Krishna, Gaia or simply the open heartedness of humanity.

Making this statement requires me to trust that this will be the day I experience and saying it out loud sends a powerful message to my subconscious which sets it on a hunt-and-go- seek mission to identify all the things that will create an amazing, brilliant, charming, delicious, exceptional, fabulous day for me. At the end of the day I repeat the same statement and then I identify one thing that was part of my day which fits each of the adjectives in my declaration. So for example:

1. Today I met an AMAZING woman who can put me in contact with some really great people for joint ventures.
2. The smile that man gave me, as he held open the door, was so BRILLIANT it lit up my heart
3. How CHARMING it was that my family really appreciated the meal I cooked for them
4. Sitting in my garden, taking in the autumn colours and feeling the sun on my face was DELICIOUS
5.  Helping my son with his homework and he actually enjoyed doing it: EXCEPTIONAL
6. Clearing over 200 e-mails out of my inbox felt absolutely FABULOUS

I write them down because that way I have a record that I can enjoy re reading when I’ve calmed down after one of my Darth Vader moments/days (You know when you succumb to the dark side and let rip).

It is so easy to become focused on things that are going “wrong” rather than celebrating what has gone right. This exercise helps me create/ maintain a positive mindset by turning down the voice of my Smeagol. Having a positive mindset is the first step to boosting your confidence because you know, no matter what life brings there will either be some good in it or you will have the resources to deal with it.

Do you have a regular strategy for giving yourself a confidence boost? How do you turn down the voice of your Smeagol? Please share your experiences so others can benefit from them too.