The Untidies

Day 37: I'm in a bit of a rush today as I've got to get my blog done quickly.  I've set myself a challenge; everything is a challenge these days.  Once upon a time we just used the word “task” or if it was something you are struggling with a “problem”.  These days you have to be so careful with words, which on the one hand is a good thing if you can avoid upsetting or insulting someone by choosing a different word.  However the downside is we've got all these buzzwords which don't really mean what they say.

There are now only 14 days to my birthday, that's two weeks and I have some much to do within this timeframe.  Leaving aside work related tasks, on the domestic side I've got to sort out my party and get my youngest ready for secondary school (which brings me to my challenge).  This means redesigning his bedroom so that it is more suitable for studying then… well anything really.  At present it looks like a bomb hit it.

I have a long-running battle with my offspring about the state of their bedrooms.  My stance: tidy up, it's ridiculous, how can you live in this mess?  Their response: it's my room and I know where everything is!  Yeah right!  I wouldn't mind if it was just untidy (actually I would mind, maybe not as much) but their rooms are also filthy.  If you can't see surfaces because of clothes, paper and rubbish is it any wonder that the same surfaces are filthy.  Apart from the dust which is deep enough to grow potatoes, there is also the matter of leftover food and missing kitchen utensils. 

Then there's the rubbish, and I mean rubbish.  It is as if they don't know how to use a dustbin.  Or perhaps they think there's a charge levied per item of rubbish placed in a dustbin and the loves are trying to save me money… how sweet, bless.  Or maybe they are confused by the reduced, reuse, recycle message and think it means “just leave your rubbish on the floor!”

I blame the eldest for setting the tone which the others followed.  Every so often I can't stand it anymore and I turn into the wicked witch of the West and terrorise them with threats of withdrawing privileges and allowances or being able to live in my house at all (this one applies to the eldest who is old enough to live independently if this is how she wishes to live).  This usually results in them giving up and tidying up, of sorts.  They seemed to run out of momentum when they reached two thirds of the way to a clean and tidy bedroom.  I think this is the tipping point, tidy enough for me to back off; messy enough of them to feel comfortable.

However most of the time I just accept that I live with a bunch of slobs, which aren't in the least bit house proud.  I on the other hand like places to be clean and in order.  I’m more than happy cleaning and ordering so long as what I'm cleaning and ordering has not been deliberately left there by a bunch of inconsiderate slobs.

Someone once told me to imagine my house spotless and tidy with everything in its place and then notice how quiet it was because the only way I could have it this way would be without my family.  HOWEVER, I refused to accept this.  I think I can have a tidy house and my family.  At the moment I have 90% control over the communal areas.  These areas have to be tidy or I go all She-Hulk on them: "DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY… YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY!"   

The remaining 10% are the things I have to remind them to do, things that could easily be overlooked by people who aren't as obsessed with tidying and cleaning as I am.  For example: cleaning out the bath/shower after they've used it; wiping the dining table after they finished eating; scraping off their plates and putting them inside the dishwasher; hanging up their clothes to dry after they’ve spent three days sitting in the washing machine and now stink and taking all their "junk" out of the living room and back to their bedrooms when they've finished with it.

The real solution lies in a cleaner.  Unfortunately my husband has a thing about paying other people to clean up your own mess. He thinks that having a cleaner will set a bad example for our offspring.  That's fine I wouldn't pay the cleaner to clean up their bedrooms. 

Should parents force their children to tidy up their bedrooms or should they see bedrooms as their children's space and allow them to use it as they wish?  I'm interested to read your views.