My 50th year in seven days: part 4

My frustration at constantly being denied the time to make a bigger impact was growing. As I looked back over my career I realise that I could have moved-on on a number of occasions.  Instead I had opted for promotion within the organisation as a way to satisfy my frustration. 

Perhaps subconsciously I substituted making a personal difference in my own life for making a big difference in the world. The money was good and I could provide my family with a comfortable lifestyle so it was a distraction that was easy to justify.  However there was a hunger, something was missing.  If all I wanted was security, I would have chosen a very different career path.  The fact that I had remained in local government for so long was testament to my beliefs that helping others is key to which I am.  As the years rolled by it was clear that my rising up the career ladder was not the fulfilment I sought.

I wanted to make it bigger difference and throwing the baby out with the bathwater every two years was not the way to do it. Throughout my career this happened several times.  Each time I had to pick up the pieces of my career and rebuild in a new area.  I started as a town planner, I moved to economic development, project management then to regeneration and finally to re-housing.  

When I found it happening again to my highly successful re-housing process that had been recognised nationally as being able to deliver results, I was mortified.  The program was too expensive to be replicated and new people and new systems were required.  This was my hurricane.  The universe finally had my attention.  This is not the work you are meant to do. This isn't the difference you are here to make move on.  So I moved on.

"Tune in" tomorrow for part 5